Neil & Liz's Story
Neil and Liz's dad Alph
Words cannot express how grateful my siblings and I are for the care and love Ajitha and The White House gave to our dad Alph for over 6 years until he passed away two days ago.
They saw him through all the hard medical challenges he faced; they ministered day and night to his many complex needs; they helped him rebuild in these new circumstances, his relationship with his wife, our mother Maureen, in the 3 years they looked after her too; they did not just help him to keep going, but they enriched his life with new activities and above all new friendships with many of the team.
Above all, they brought him joy and fun in the midst of all the suffering he had to cope with. It has been so consoling for us to see the affectionate relationships of trust he developed with so many of them, in some cases over several years, including Tanya, who was so incredibly devoted to him and worked wonders keeping his leg flexible and Delia, Nicky, Clive, Ed, Vince, Mylynn, Rowena, and Ajitha, who have always been so perceptive, supportive, and appreciative of him. There are many others I should mention, including the night staff, whom I didn’t see. It was lovely too how they fostered his (and Mum’s) relationship with Mum’s sister Eileen, since she has been a resident.
The support and empathy they gave us when Dad was passing away was the final chapter in the huge care they’ve given to our family. Dad was a lovely, lovely man, husband, father, grandfather, and father-in-law, and we miss him surely, but we thank The White House for having been with us on this journey.
With love from
Neil, Lesile & Kids - Elizabeth & Daniel
Every single member of the White House team has been (and continues to be) extraordinary, most vividly in helping Dad, like Mum, have a peaceful end being loved and cared for by you all.
Tania and Delia have been with him, and us. all the way, and their bond was a huge privilege to see. To be there on Thursday was to see so many people quietly coming in to do one final kindness: Vince finding the music channel, Clive offering hugs and prayers, Ajitha’s quiet watchfulness, Mylinn and Rowena’s accuracy and calm vigilance, Shirley with practical cheer. I could go on…I will never forget Tania giving Dad a shave talking to him gently all the way, so he looked his best. And tea! Tea is brilliant.
But there are lots of people we don't see as much, doing equally wonderful work, at night, in other areas, and with Dad.
I doubt you’ve seen the back of us! :)
Julian's mum Romana
Three years ago my brother and I had the most difficult decision to make in regards looking after my mum after her stroke. With a heavy heart we had no alternative but to look for a care home.
It is a difficult decision that a lot of loving families have to make. My mum was 92 and had lived a full independent life with her loving family. Deciding to look for a care home was a guilt driven path made no easier when we visited a number of private care homes in the Worcester Park area. We were not impressed. But the moment I looked within White House Care Home and met Ajitha the Matron, I felt that it was a place that would welcome my mum, support my family and give us some peace of mind for mum’s remaining life. In time mum settled well. Her medical care and wellbeing were professionally and sympathetically performed in their duty of care.
The attitude of staff towards the residents and the atmosphere in the home was always positive and driven by family values. Mum had her favourite carers no doubt and they got to know her favoured routines. And then in unprecedented times the pandemic arrived . It was so difficult for family to visit but the staff looked after her according to health care guidelines and put into place visiting requirements to keep staff and residents safe. Mum did not test positive for Covid throughout her stay.
I would like to thank the staff for looking after my mum. My brother and I will always be grateful for your kindness and support in making these difficult times less painful then it could have been. For those who find themselves with same decisions in life, please visit the care home and meet the staff under the expert care of Ajitha, you will be happy with your choice.
Sue's mum Eileen
Hi! My name’s Sue. If you’re considering the White House for a loved one, from my experience with mum you’re doing the right thing. It’s hard to decide on a move to a care home. We hear so many stories about unhappy places, and feel bad having to take our loved one from their home. We, mum’s family, had sleepless nights wondering whether we were making the right decision for her, but she couldn’t look after herself any longer and had lost all interest in life. Luckily, we found her a room at the White House.
Mum didn’t make friends easily, so it was a great start that, five minutes after their first meeting, she and Ajitha were laughing together. She was reluctant to leave the security of Tolworth Hospital, but as soon as she sat in her chair in her room she wriggled a bit and said ‘This is cosy!’. We all breathed a sigh of relief. Although her room was small, we’d already added touches from home, including dad’s photo, and she loved it. When we first walked in to the White House, it felt like home, not like ‘a home’, a comfortable place full of friendly people, and with no trace of the ‘smell’ so many associate with nursing homes and hospitals.
In no time, mum was chatting with and teasing the staff and with encouragement from Janice and the carers she was taking part in activities and entertainment and going on trips out, including the panto, garden centre and Hampton Court. She was enjoying herself again and it showed! For the first time in her life, she had nothing to worry about. She felt safe, secure and cared for. On her 90th birthday, she rang for the toilet at 2.30am and all the staff on duty went to her room to sing Happy Birthday, the start of a wonderful day for her.
When she was found unresponsive one morning, she was taken to hospital where they told us nothing more could be done for her. The White House really wanted her home with them, so she spent her last days in her own room, surrounded by people and sounds familiar to her. They were so gentle and caring, and maintained her dignity throughout. I visited every day and there was always a carer either sitting with her, often holding her hand for tender comfort, or not far away, with music playing quietly.
Five days later, she passed away. The White House organised our nominated undertakers so we didn’t have to worry about a thing. They didn’t rush us, but left her room with her belongings until we were ready to take them away. When we went there, we were greeted like members of their family – they obviously missed her too. They were willing to talk to us and help us with our loss.
During mum's stay, I began helping with activities and I'm still involved – I guess I've become part of their family! You couldn't find a better home for your loved one!
Claire's dad Geoff
My father Geoff was "rescued" by The White House at a time of distress and fragility. A nursing home such as The White House is such a rare find and I knew from the very first visit to view the home that my Dad would be safe and content. There are always lots of amazing activities going on and although I was sad that dad could not join in, I was just grateful for him being kept as comfortable as possible. Dad's last birthday, his 87th, was acknowledged and celebrated so kindly by the wonderful staff and volunteers. They also made such an effort for Mum and Dad's 63rd wedding anniversary with the kind gesture of a cake and for them to have lunch together.
It's just so hard for a partner when they lose their spouse to dementia. Dad was always marvellous at remembering anniversaries and Valentine's day and I think Mum misses this terribly, but your staff really made a difference to her. I'm always amazed at his capacity for smiling and laughing still, but Dad's always been a very positive man.
For 15 months the amazing staff have helped not only a very poorly man die with dignity but have demonstrated great support towards my (heartbroken) Mum. I cannot begin to express my heartfelt gratitude for the outstanding care provided to my dad at a time of great vulnerability. In my father's words when I asked him earlier if he was content and comfortable, he replied "it's just perfect here". I could not have asked for more. I am so relieved he is at peace at last and I shall miss him greatly.
Ajitha and staff of The White House have my deepest respect.